Wimmera organisations commemorate pregnancy and infant loss

Representatives from West Wimmera Shire Council, Grampians Health and Be Your Best Counselling identified a need to mark Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, on October 15. 

Council’s Perinatal Emotional Health Practitioner Adrienne Caldow will host ‘Wave of Light’ ceremonies, in Edenhope and Kaniva, inviting community members to light a candle in memory of a loved one. 

Lake Wallace parkrun in Edenhope will also mark the occasion with a pre-event presentation by Ms Caldow. 

Volunteers and participants are invited to wear purple, to signal their support. 

“I’d say nearly all of us have been affected by the loss of a baby, because miscarriage still happens in 1 out of 4 pregnancies,” Ms Caldow said. 

“This day covers so many kinds of loss, from miscarriages and terminations for medical reasons, to stillbirth and accidental death; every loss is valid and it’s so common, but not often spoken about. 

“We want to give people the space to grieve and remember and reflect.” 

Should people wish to mark the occasion in private, free candles can be collected from Council offices, in Kaniva and Edenhope, from October 15. 

Grampians Health Rural Outreach worker Murray McInnes said silent grieving was “far more common in this community than anyone would expect”. 

“There are legal definitions and processes, which sometimes means a baby’s death is not legitamised enough,” he said. 

“No matter how many weeks a baby is, the emotional toll can extend on forever. Realistically, people are dealing with trauma and grief all at the same time and, often, they need support through that.” 

Mr McInnes said families dealt with grief differently, but all reactions were valid. 

“Often young men will respond with anger and they can feel really helpless. Awareness is important for men, because they can be really affected and don’t necessarily deal with it well, or get the support they need.” 

Qualified counsellor Carine Bezuidenhout hopes the ceremonies will draw community members together. 

“It can be very powerful to realise you’re not alone in your grief, that others have some understanding,” she said. 

“For many babies there is no gravesite or funeral service and that can impact the grieving process. 

“This will be our collective service, to honour all of our precious little ones.” 

Adrienne, Murray and Carine have all been affected by the loss of a baby and hope, by speaking up, others will feel comfortable seeking support. 

“The more we talk about it, as a community, the more people will feel like they too can speak about it,” Ms Bezuidenhout said. “This is not something we should be silent about.” 

Wave of Light candlelight vigils: 

Kaniva Shire Hall meeting room, Monday October 28, 7pm 

Edenhope Community Centre, Tuesday October 29, 7pm 

Candles, tea, coffee and refreshments will be provided 

Lake Wallace parkrun tribute event, at Henley Park, Saturday October 12, 7.45am 

For more information, please contact Perinatal Emotional Health Practitioner Adrienne Caldow: 0418 818 127